i feel like dying. that's how id like to describe my day. reasons:
1. we went to iligan, went to interspace to ask if anyone can fix our PC hard drive. man says its unrepairable and the powers totally burned out. so shit, i just lost very important files. specially out thesis pictures. i know my OA thesis partners will surely get disappointed.
2. received another failing grade at our exam for 161. like comon like how dumb and stupid can i be? its so hard for me to comprehend how these formulas for designing beams and columns work. im really so not meant to be a civil engineer. math and physics are just not for me. why couldn't i get nursing or bio instead... or a course related to English or art? imagine 12 out of 50? god im so stupid. and those point were if not for the help of my classmate faizah. yah. she made me copy. i would've gotten zero. i really did not study for the exam. the night before i was cramming and so problematic.
days like this i want to really run away. want would be ow so good, if i could just fly somewhere far like new york and pursue a life as an artist. wouldn't that be a lot more simple. i hate when i feel so stupid and so much of a failure. this is one of those many many days.
at least i was able to save a copy of our thesis first three chapters in my blog. that way i don't have to repeat typing everything. but still, GOD, im so fucked, what about the pictures. i hope my brother can help me recover them. ya Allah why do you make me like this, why do you make me so weak in all my suffering. am i really that bad of a person... maybe perhaps this is your sign, giving me a shitty and pretentious life.
days rated as a brown. somebody please help me. im so busy.
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